“Why am I having these panic attacks… and the same dreams repeatedly?”

Dr. Thanvi wiped her sweaty face, still confused, sitting in front of Dr. Smera.

She controlled her trembling hands and tried to hold on to the paperweight near the nameplate that read Dr. Smera.

Dr. Smera observed her carefully and gave her a reassuring smile.

“Thanvi, can you remember any connection between these dreams and the panic attacks? Is there something common?”

Smera gave Thanvi a few seconds to pause and think, allowing her to find the answer by herself.

Thanvi closed her eyes.

She tried to search through the fragments of the dreams.

Nothing.

Only darkness.

A strange smell.

Something bitter.

A baby’s cry.

She opened her eyes again.

Then it came to her.

Suicides.

“This happened every time I was writing the report on suicides…”

She swallowed.

“Yesterday, I had two cases to write up the summaries on suicides. But the dreams… they’re not about suicide.”

Dr. Smera sighed softly.

“Dr. Thanvi, take a breath. And if you’re ready… can you recollect those cases? Try to remember the exact point at which you felt this discomfort.”

Dr. Thanvi held her breath and closed her eyes.

“Case No. 4466…”

Her voice trembled.

“A woman in her thirties had taken poison two days earlier, mixing it into juice. She had complaints of vomiting and stomach pain. She hadn’t told anyone that she had consumed poison. She came here because there was blood in her vomit.”

Thanvi paused.

For a second, she could almost smell it again.

That sharp, bitter smell of poison mixed with something sweet.

She opened her eyes.

“Her internal organs were damaged. She was in the ICU for a few hours… and then she passed away.”

Smera listened silently.

“She was a suspect in a gold-loan corruption case. She worked in a private finance company. She had given the gold ornaments from the finance company to her friend, who was in need. The friend had told her that the gold would be returned after a few days.”

“But instead, the friend sold it… and went absconding.”

Thanvi’s fingers tightened around the paperweight.

“When the people who had deposited their gold at the finance company started questioning her, this woman tried to calm them by arranging gold and money from her own family.”

Her breathing became slightly faster.

“But she still couldn’t handle the situation.”

She paused.

“She was eventually caught by the owner of the finance company. That evening, she took rat poison with juice.”

For a moment, Thanvi felt something cold pass through her body.

Not fear.

Something else.

Something she couldn’t name.

She shook her head and continued.

“Case No. 6644…”

Her voice became quieter.

“A newbie actor-model was found hanging in his apartment.”

“No suicide note. No other evidence.”

She looked at Smera.

“But the family says it was homicide. They believed he had been targeted by some influential people and was constantly being cut off from projects.”

“Still, the police took the case as a suicide… even though there were some marks on his body.”

Thanvi stopped.

Her face suddenly changed.

Smera noticed.

“Thanvi?”

Thanvi didn’t answer.

She was staring at something that wasn’t there.

For a fleeting second, she could smell something completely different.

Not poison.

Not the sterile smell of the hospital.

It was the smell of an old room.

Damp walls.

Wet earth.

Something metallic.

And then—

A baby’s cry.

Thanvi’s eyes widened.

“Thanvi…”

Dr. Smera gently patted her shoulder.

“Thanvi.”

Thanvi opened her eyes.

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

She was sweating heavily.

Then she began to cry.

Smera didn’t rush her.

She simply stayed beside her, comforting her and giving her enough time to settle.

After some time, Thanvi’s breathing slowly became calmer.

“I never had a thought of suicide,” she finally whispered.

She wiped her tears.

“Still… suicides are tearing me apart.”

She looked at Smera.

“Doctor, please don’t tell anyone in our hospital about my issues with these cases. They may terminate me… or cancel my contract.”

Dr. Smera nodded.

“But make sure you change your duty schedule. And be alert whenever you are assigned cases like these.”

Thanvi nodded silently.

She looked down at her hands.

“I don’t understand why my body reacts like this.”

Smera looked at her thoughtfully.

“Sometimes the mind doesn’t remember something… but the body remembers.”

Thanvi looked at her.

Neither of them knew how close those words were to the truth.

---

While they were talking, someone else had been listening.

From the mortuary session, Lord Yama had heard their conversation.

He turned towards Nachiketa, the young seeker beside him.

“Do you know why this Thanvi is getting disturbed by such cases?”

Nachiketa looked at him.

“Do you have any logic?”

Nachiketa thought for a moment.

“Maybe… she committed suicide in her previous life?”

Lord Yama smiled.

“Almost.”

He paused.

“But not exactly.”

Thanvi remained unaware of everything happening around her.

Yama continued.

“She was a man in her previous life.”

Nachiketa listened carefully.

“A man who abandoned a young girl named Thangam.”

“Thangam was only fifteen.”

Yama’s voice became heavier.

“She became pregnant… and died during childbirth.”

Nachiketa’s expression changed.

“While she was bleeding to death, she wanted to take her newborn son with her too. She longed for her newborn to go with her.”

Yama paused.

“That longing itself was considered a great sin.”

Nachiketa frowned.

“But how are suicide and this event connected?”

He looked confused.

“She died during delivery. That was an accident, wasn’t it?”

Lord Yama sighed.

“Don’t you think abandoning a pregnant woman and an unborn child can also become a form of homicide?”

Nachiketa remained silent.

“Thangam did not fear death,” Yama continued.

“She feared being left alone.”

He looked towards the mortal world.

“Imagine it, Nachiketa. The 1960s. An unmarried teenage mother. Alone. Pregnant. Can you imagine how society would have treated her?”

Nachiketa lowered his eyes.

“She knew that the man would not be there for her.”

“She was terrified of facing everything alone.”

Yama’s voice softened.

“So his incompetence… his abandonment… his refusal to stand beside her… led to those deaths.”

Nachiketa looked at Yama.

“So… Thanvi is suffering because of what that man did?”

Yama shook his head slowly.

“I am not saying that this is some simple punishment.”

“Nor am I saying it is merely tit for tat.”

He paused.

“Sometimes karma is not about punishment.”

“It is about what remains unfinished.”

Nachiketa looked at him.

“The fear. The guilt. The attachment. The consequences of what we leave behind…”

Yama’s eyes turned towards Thanvi.

“Those things can travel farther than a lifetime.”

He smiled faintly.

“Karma is a boomerang.”

Nachiketa’s eyes widened.

He looked towards Thanvi.

She was still wiping away her sweat and tears, completely unaware of everything that had just been revealed about her.

Unaware of the man she had once been.

Unaware of the girl named Thangam.

And unaware of why every suicide case seemed to awaken something buried deep within her.

Thanvi closed her eyes once again.

And somewhere inside that darkness—

A newborn cried.

Then came a young girl’s trembling voice.

“Don’t leave me alone…”

Thanvi suddenly opened her eyes.

She looked around the room, confused.

Her lips were trembling.

She didn’t know why those words had come out of her mouth.

But somewhere beyond her memory…

Thangam was still waiting to be remembered.