In the early days of my postpartum, my doctors told me,

“You can slowly return to your exercise routine.”

My baby was tiny then.

She would sleep for longer stretches.

I could ask my mom to help.

I went for walks.

I did my workouts.

That was my therapy.

It felt like I was reclaiming myself.

Now?

I have a toddler.

There is no long stretch of silence.

There is no predictable schedule.

There is no “let me just step out for 30 minutes.”

My timetable is not my timetable anymore.

I wake up according to her.

I eat according to her.

I rest according to her.

And honestly?

That irritated me at first.

Because I am someone who likes plans.

If I decide I will walk, I walk.

If I schedule a workout, I complete it.

That’s my nature.

Yes, my Pitta predominant prakriti shows up here —

discipline, structure, execution.

So when my routine started slipping,

I felt restless.

Annoyed.

Slightly out of control.

Then something shifted.

I realized this phase is not permanent.

But it is precious.

I cannot go for a peaceful walk knowing my mom is struggling to run behind a fast toddler.

I cannot pretend I am relaxed outside when my mind is half at home.

So I chose something else.

I chose presence.

Some days, I look at myself and think:

“I have put on weight.”

Clothes feel tighter.

Hair is not styled.

I don’t have time for aesthetic mornings.

And maybe someone will notice.

Maybe someone will comment.

It’s okay.

You don’t know my life.

You don’t know my schedule.

You don’t know the constant running behind a curious human being.

This is not negligence.

This is prioritizing.

Some days I manage a 30-minute workout.

Some days I don’t.

Some days I eat clean.

Some days I eat whatever is quick.

But I am sleeping 6–7 hours at night.

I am drinking my 2 litres of water.

I am showing up.

And most importantly —

I am not missing this phase.

Because I don’t want to look back one day and think:

“I was so busy maintaining my routine that I missed her becoming.”

Motherhood keeps shifting identity.

Earlier it was:

“How do I get back to my body?”

Now it is:

“How do I stay aligned while my schedule is fluid?”

This is awareness again.

Not forcing old standards into a new season.

Accepting that life has seasons.

I am not abandoning myself.

I am adjusting myself.

There is a difference.

I know who I am.

I know I will return to structured workouts.

I know discipline is part of me.

But right now, my priority is this little girl who needs me fully.

And that is enough.

So if I look slightly chubbier,

slightly messier,

slightly less “put together” —

It’s okay.

I am not behind.

I am present.

And presence matters more than perfection.

Toddler mom life is not about losing yourself.

It is about expanding to hold someone else.

And sometimes expansion looks messy.

That’s okay.

I choose peace over pressure.

And today, that feels aligned.